Quitting your job is always nerve-racking, no matter how many times you’ve done it or how great your boss is. But when you have a Nightmare Boss, it’s downright terrifying.
Your boss might be intimidating, manipulative, unreasonable, or abusive. She might yell. He might blame and exploit. She might not have boundaries. He might lie. You need a plan for how to quit when you’re scared of your boss.
How to Quit When You’re Scared of Your Boss
Follow these simple steps to stay calm:
1 | Prepare What You’re Going to Say
Learn what to say when you quit your job.
2 | Practice What You’re Going to Say
Say it out loud to a friend first. You need to say it out loud, not just in your head. If you practice with a real person, it will make the real thing easier.
3 | Decide the Day and Time You’re Going to Tell Your Boss
You’ll feel better knowing when The Talk is coming up.
4 | If There’s an HR Department, Speak with Them First
Tell them if you are worried about your safety, and follow their advice for giving notice, not mine.
5 | Release Tension
Before you talk to your boss, go to the bathroom or somewhere private, and tense every muscle and hold your breath for as long as you can. Do that about 3 times. This will help discharge nervous energy and keep you calm.
6 | Focus on Your Breath
When the time comes, focus on your breathing. Take deep, slow breaths. Your breath is your lifeline. If your boss gets angry or tries to be manipulative, put the focus on your breath. Do not participate in any drama. If she yells, is mean, etc, you just breathe.
7 | Say What You Rehearsed
Do not ramble. Err on the side of not saying enough.
8 | Be Prepared For Push-Back
If she tries to talk you into staying, your line is: “My decision is final.” You say it as many times as you have to.
9 | Exit If Necessary
If she is verbally abusive, you can just calmly walk out of the room.
10 | Celebrate
Take a shot, eat a Snickers, call your mom. You did it!
Laura Simms is the Founder of Your Career Homecoming and a Certified Equity-Centered Coach (IECC) with 15 years of experience guiding high-achievers through meaningful career transitions. She has helped over 400 professionals choose careers with both meaning and money, and her clients have come and gone from places like Google, OWN, NPR, Fortune 500 companies, the FBI, Broadway, and HarperCollins. As the pioneer of the WHOLE Method—a holistic career change strategy—Laura brings a unique approach that integrates purpose with practicality. Her expertise has been featured in US News & World Report. She holds degrees from Furman University and The University of California, Irvine, and has taught at the graduate and undergraduate levels. Based in Atlanta, Laura enjoys thrifting, interior design, and walks in the woods.
