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Hi. I'm Laura.

Discover the meaningful work that's right for you. Finally.

Why I’m Done With Dreaming Big

Why I'm Done Dreaming Big

There’s something I’ve been wanting to write about for almost a year now. I’ve never actually sat down to write about it because I haven’t even been sure where to start.

On Monday when I was out on a walk with my boy, ideas about the topic were running through my head. I got out my phone to record some thoughts with the intention of using them as an outline so I could craft the article later.

When I got home and listened to the recording, I decided not to craft anything.

Instead, I’m sharing this decidedly un-crafted audio with you.

I want you to hear me panting in the Texas heat. I want you to hear cars driving by. I want you to hear me searching for a word and not being able to find it.

If I took the time to craft these thoughts, you wouldn’t hear the edge in my voice because I would polish, neutralize, and make safe. But the edge…I’m a little embarrassed by it in some places, but it’s there because it’s honest. It’s there because these are the things that I say to myself when no one else is listening.

So here I am: raw, vulnerable, and unedited.


TRANSCRIPT

Why I’m done with dreaming big:

All the websites and programs urging us to “dream big”… as if the size of your dreams really matter.

And I really love the sentiment behind the dream big…not initiative is the right word…push…whatever. You know, the message is “Believe that what you want is not wild and crazy, but is attainable.” “Believe that you can have the life you think is out of reach.” I’m 100% behind that. I just don’t believe that for everyone it means traveling the world or making a million dollars, owning a boat, those kinds of things.

I, in my 20s, I guess I did more dreaming big, but for me it was never about money and things. It was about art. It was about achievement. And it was about adventure. And I was on television, and I moved to California, and lived in Los Angeles and I performed beautiful, moving, breathtaking shows with an amazing ensemble. And I watched my IMDB star-meter slowly start to rise. And I had friends on Facebook that had achieved some level of celebrity. And that was what dreaming big meant for me then.

Now, I don’t do dreaming big. I still have dreams but they’re not…They’re small dreams, they’re simple.

I wanna…I wanna have time to read my son books. I wanna have meaningful conversations with my partner when we’re both not too tired to use big words. I wanna see my family for a long weekend. I wanna continue to grow this business that I’ve poured so much into.

And that’s not big, but it’s mine. And I will take my dream over someone else’s big dream any day of the week.

So that’s why I’m done with dreaming big. I’ll be dreaming Laura-sized, and if it looks pedestrian or small to anyone else, I wish them well on their first-class flight to Thailand. But for now, I’ll be here, reading my son a book, having the perfect cup of tea, and being content with that.


I’m happy to report that following our walk, I sat down to read my boy a book.

Know someone who has small dreams? Share this with them.

Tell me, what are your small dreams?

  1. saraallen01@hotmail.com

    August 28th, 2014 at 2:37 pm

    Laura, you might like the book “the not so big life” by Sarah Susanka – a great read that echoes your sentiment!

  2. laura@yourcareerhomecoming.com

    August 28th, 2014 at 3:41 pm

    Thank you, Sara! Sounds perfect for me right now.

  3. paulinel@nb.sympatico.ca

    August 28th, 2014 at 2:47 pm

    Laura, i loved this.I think so many of us need to hear this right now.
    Thank you. xx

  4. laura@yourcareerhomecoming.com

    August 28th, 2014 at 7:19 pm

    Thank you, Pauline.

  5. tara@taraleaver.com

    August 28th, 2014 at 2:55 pm

    Laura I’ve had a post about this exact topic in my drafts for over a year. I’ve attempted to write it several times; I even have a draft not-quite-ready to submit as a guest post on my desktop. Clearly I’ve found it hard to articulate too! I reached a point where all the exclamation marks and shiny shiny and ‘six figure biz’ enthusiasm began to make me feel not only kind of drained, but also that my considerably more modest sized dreams were somehow lacking, or not big and forceful and energetic enough to be successful. {And obviously success is such a relative term.}
    It’s not that I think there’s anything wrong with big dreams, or with going after them; it’s more that it seems like less obviously exciting {and expensive!} means somehow less valid. I never wanted a a flashy car, a six figure business, or thousands of people following my work {after all I’m both an introvert and kind of a recluse!}, but almost no one seems to talk about having a small, cosy ‘you-sized’ business, and that’s what I want. That’s one of my ‘Tara-sized’ dreams. 🙂 Realising that was a big relief for me.

  6. laura@yourcareerhomecoming.com

    August 28th, 2014 at 3:43 pm

    Tara, YES. Screw all that. I don’t do flashy. I will never make a million dollars, because that isn’t what motivates me. I don’t need or want all that.
    I love how Abby Kerr talks about having a “jewel box of a brand.” That feels like home to me.

    Hope you write your post. Dream Small!

  7. cerries@thebrandalchemist.com

    August 28th, 2014 at 3:10 pm

    So beautifully said…in all ways. Thank you x

  8. laura@yourcareerhomecoming.com

    August 28th, 2014 at 7:19 pm

    Thanks, Cerries!

  9. susannah.conway@me.com

    August 28th, 2014 at 3:51 pm

    Beautiful and so very refreshing x

  10. laura@yourcareerhomecoming.com

    August 28th, 2014 at 7:19 pm

    xx

  11. leilafanner@gmail.com

    August 28th, 2014 at 4:16 pm

    Loooovely! Totally up my alley. Thanks Laura, for being the one voice that ‘gets’ it so often and actually puts it into words!

  12. laura@yourcareerhomecoming.com

    August 28th, 2014 at 7:16 pm

    Thanks, Leila.

  13. mlcahan@yahoo.com

    August 28th, 2014 at 4:25 pm

    Hi Laura! I loved hearing your message! It is very inspiring to me.For years I had dreams but they were shoved under the proverbial rug for many years because my working in corporate America was my “life” as if that wasn’t the biggest joke ever! Then in November 2012, 2 days before Thanksgiving, I walked out of my stressful corporate Amerinightmare, and began to work on getting to know me and find out who I really was again.
    I’m a creative girl, always have been. When I was 3, I took interest in the piano. When I was 4, my parent’s put me in lessons. For years, I took lessons. My teachers claimed I was Juilliard or Berkeley material but I never made it. Probably because I believed I wasn’t good enough.
    For almost all of 2013, I took time off. I worked 2 jobs of which I lasted at each for one month. I believe that was the Universe’s way of telling me that it was alright to take as much time as I needed to find Mari and that it was okay to live off my savings if I had to.
    Now nearly 2 years later, I’m still not working. My husband works and makes decent money. In no way are way filthy rich but we get by. I do have a petsitting business that’s just getting off the ground but I’m not busy….yet. Though in my “Mari time”, I fugured out my creative side again. Surprisingly it wasn’t music, but art. I paint. I paint upcycled vases that I buy from Goodwill and “prettify” them. I paint terracotta pots in my own Mari way. The joy that my newly discovered gift gives me is almost indescribable! Am I living my dream? Well, perhaps. I’m certainly in the beginning of my journey. And there’s nothing wrong with that. My dream would be that both my husband and I would sell our art (yep, he’s an artist also) and I could do that. Just that. I’m looking to brand but not be crazy commerialized because that’s just not me. Selling at festivals and craft shows would be right up my alley. Selling on my Etsy store would be perfect. But I’m just me. Never wanted to climb the corporate ladder. Never wanted to compete in corporate contests. And sales commissions were nice, but you had to practically bite off more than you could swallow just to make it and that wasn’t me. Never was.
    So while I write this crazy long comment to your amazingly raw, yet so human message, I realize that I wrote out (in public) my intention; my intention to create happiness and joy through my artistic endeavors. And, well, that’s a huge dream for me! Sure, I have other dreams like living out in the country and taking gorgeous landscape photos. Picking wildflowers and putting them in my vases, then taking pictures of it all and selling my art. Yes, that is me. I’m okay with it because that is me. It’s not a big dream for most, but it is big, but more than that. It is MEANINGFUL to me.
    Thank you for inspiring me to write this. ♡

  14. laura@yourcareerhomecoming.com

    August 28th, 2014 at 7:20 pm

    I think getting good with being “just me” is one of the best things you can do. Best wishes you and your husband.

  15. marthmary@comcast.net

    August 28th, 2014 at 4:27 pm

    Right on! It is overwhelming, at times, to, for example, pick up an issue of MORE magazine and read about all the ‘dreaming big’ success stories – some are inspirational, but many have left me feeling as if I am lacking in some way….all of our small dreams are meaningful and have the potential to radiate into the world around us – making us all better for them!

  16. laura@yourcareerhomecoming.com

    August 28th, 2014 at 7:22 pm

    Big dreamers have small dreams, too, I know. But you’re not less worthy if you don’t want to the MORE magazine centerfold.

  17. bonnieburnell@yahoo.com

    August 28th, 2014 at 4:34 pm

    Hi LauraI love the realness of hearing your voice and your process as you got hold of these thoughts. While I was listening, I was like, yeah, yes, me too! I have had big change in my life over the last two years and with that comes letting go of big things I thought I once needed or wanted and traded them in for what I now know I need. Simplicity, authenticity, joy, for starters. It was so wonderful to hear you – someone I’ve admired since I started following you a few years ago (you always bring calm and insight to my inbox) – echo something I have stumbled upon. I wrote about my experience with this new way of seeing things and linked it here. Happy reading to that wonderful being of yours!

  18. laura@yourcareerhomecoming.com

    August 28th, 2014 at 7:23 pm

    Thank you, Bonnie. The longer I live, the more I fall in love with simplicity. So glad you’re (still) here.

  19. deidreewong@yahoo.com

    August 28th, 2014 at 5:20 pm

    Hi Laura,
    I agree with you, I used to have big dreams when I was young. At 48, my dream is having a loving, peaceful, simple and meaningful life.

    By the way, that’s a beautiful dream you are living now. Congratulations on staying true to your heart!

  20. laura@yourcareerhomecoming.com

    August 28th, 2014 at 7:24 pm

    Thanks, Deidree! I love the life I’ve built. Not fancy, but precious and mine. Hope I still feel the same at 48.

  21. isabelle@hellobellestudio.com

    August 28th, 2014 at 5:21 pm

    How absolutely lovely and serendipitous My Isabelle-sized dream is to design in stolen bits of time and to spend the rest of my time with my little man.

  22. laura@yourcareerhomecoming.com

    August 28th, 2014 at 7:25 pm

    The little men are wonderful to spend time with, aren’t they?

  23. lcparkes@gmail.com

    August 29th, 2014 at 12:02 am

    Thanks Laura, such a gorgeous and honest reminder to live life for yourself, for what’s true to you and not what the world perceives as “big ticket success”. At a stage now where I’m hitting 30 in a couple of years, and figuring out exactly who I am and what I want is my main goal in life at the moment – and in a world where you’re only as awesome or pretty as you look on Instagram – I think being content with where you’re at on the way to where you’re going has never been more important. So thank you.

  24. laura@yourcareerhomecoming.com

    August 29th, 2014 at 1:46 pm

    Laura, when I was in college, my roommate and I took a trip to Disney World. We were in a long line and had been for 45 minutes. The kid in front of us starting whining, and the mom looked at him and very flatly said, “Enjoy where you are or your life will be miserable.” My friend and I laughed and laughed. I still think about that sometimes. It’s pretty good advice.

  25. psaund8727@aol.com

    August 29th, 2014 at 12:13 am

    It sounds like you know what is most precious to you and make it a priority & isn’t that what you help others to do.

  26. laura@yourcareerhomecoming.com

    August 29th, 2014 at 1:42 pm

    Yes, Patti, I suppose it is. Thanks for the reminder 😉

  27. niki@notoriouslycurious.com

    August 29th, 2014 at 4:22 am

    “And that’s not big, but it’s mine. And I will take my dream over someone else’s big dream any day of the week.” — I love this Laura. It resonates so well with me. Thanks for writing this. It’s such a refreshing read.

  28. laura@yourcareerhomecoming.com

    August 29th, 2014 at 1:47 pm

    Thanks, Niki.

  29. Melfreeborn@gmail.com

    August 29th, 2014 at 10:28 am

    Such a powerful, simple message. And so underplayed because it doesn’t fit with what we are ‘supposed’ to want.I recently read your post on burn out, and feeling very ‘wrong’ in myself a lot lately (can’t just be fobbed off with the menopause), I found a fantastic site, futurevision.org. No ads, no sell, no pictures, just plain, simple information and advice. I spent most of Saturday reading it all, and realised that most of the world is caught up in this rat race, and have spent years suffering adrenal fatigue. If we dared stop to think about it, this collective stress build up is a time bomb.

    I have travelled a lot even with 4 small boys, and after a crappy divorce, made my home in Turkey, I sold my small house and owned a boat for a year (it was fantastic, but brings it’s own stresses,) and I am definitely not rich. From my friends back home point of view, I’m living a dream life. I think they assume I’m down at the beach everyday sipping cocktails. I’m not.

    What I am trying to do though is the same as all the lovely people here. Find my own way, rhythm, be gentle on myself, get back to the art that was abandoned when my first married life crashed around my ears. It’s certainly more challenging against the backdrop of a foreign culture and language, but slowly my small dream is taking shape. I don’t read books to my sons anymore, but spending an afternoon with my lovely neighbour upstairs patiently putting up with my rubbish Turkish and teaching me how to make Proper Turkish coffee is priceless.

    I’m all for small dreams. We need more, many more of them.
    Thank you Laura and Tara.

  30. laura@yourcareerhomecoming.com

    August 29th, 2014 at 1:48 pm

    It’s the small, exquisite moments that I enjoy the most. Glad you’re finding them upstairs and in a pot of coffee.

  31. jcsimms222@aol.com

    August 29th, 2014 at 1:44 pm

    Sending you a virtual hug! I think as we move through our journey here on earth, the events of our life cause us to examine what is truly important to us. Becoming a parent is certainly an impetus in this examination of priorities and values. You are wise, my beautiful girl, with your love of family, your meaningful work, and your desire to make your world a better place.
    One of my friends has commented that to her a bucket list was not a a list of fabulous travel and over the top experiences, but was the daily living and doing of the things she enjoyed and gained satisfaction from in the company of people she cared about.

    Keep dreaming – You’ve taught me the importance of dreams, regardless of whether they are big or small.

  32. laura@yourcareerhomecoming.com

    August 29th, 2014 at 1:49 pm

    Thank you, Mom! Love you! You keep dreaming, too 🙂

  33. sarahwagneryost@gmail.com

    August 29th, 2014 at 2:39 pm

    This is sweet, Laura. Love it. I want to spend plenty of time at least twice a day cuddling with my family. Lazy, long cuddles. I want to read the hell out of some books. Clean out my garage. Feel like myself.
    Really, that’s what matters the most is that I can feel like myself. No matter what shiny-ass dream I’m hanging out with, it always includes being me, plenty of cuddles and reading. And very little dread and hassle.

    Thanks for keeping it real.

    xo

  34. laura@yourcareerhomecoming.com

    August 29th, 2014 at 2:41 pm

    Haha, Sarah, I love this: “No matter what shiny-ass dream I’m hanging out with, it always includes being me.” Shiny-ass dreams are great, too. Cuddles trump all.

  35. mary@smartcookiehappycookie.com

    August 29th, 2014 at 4:30 pm

    Laura, thank you so much for sharing this, which is how I think a lot of us feel and maybe are afraid to say out loud. I certainly feel that way. I know my dream is pretty simple, too, which is just to share what I know what people and try to help them, and do that in a portable way so I can live where I need to and support myself financially. There’s so much discussion about charging big — make that gigantic — fees as a coach, or people won’t think you’re “worth it,” whatever that means. As a brand new coach, I need to trust my instincts and not believe all that hype. Thank you again for this, Laura.

  36. laura@yourcareerhomecoming.com

    August 30th, 2014 at 2:11 pm

    I think “trust your instincts” is a fine place to start–and stay–as you grow your business.

  37. service@justorganizeyourstuff.com

    August 29th, 2014 at 5:14 pm

    Lovely Laura. Just lovely.

  38. laura@yourcareerhomecoming.com

    August 30th, 2014 at 2:11 pm

    Thank you, Cathy.

  39. judy@cutthecrapsolutions.com

    August 29th, 2014 at 7:15 pm

    Your dreams, Laura, are HUGE! They’re just about people and not about numbers.And that makes all the difference.
    Big HUGS <3

  40. laura@yourcareerhomecoming.com

    August 30th, 2014 at 2:09 pm

    Thanks for the reminder, Judy 🙂

  41. gotmusikk@gmail.com

    August 30th, 2014 at 1:44 am

    I love your message, AND the delivery. I have been coming to the same conclusion myself, over the past 2 years. It is such a relief to know that me and my me-sized dreams are just fine, that they’re HEALTHY, that they’re lovely.
    I felt like I was walking with a friend when I listened to your recording. I wish I had a friend like that where I am.

    Thank you. 🙂

  42. Anonymous

    September 1st, 2014 at 5:44 pm

    […] Why I’m Done With Dreaming Big on Create as Folk. Amen, […]

  43. barbmarkway@gmail.com

    September 2nd, 2014 at 1:27 am

    I love this! I, too, have had a problem with the whole “dream big” thing, especially now that I deal with chronic pain. I wrote a post called Tiny Dreams a while back… http://theselfcompassionproject.com/2012/07/29/tiny-dreams/ Like you, I kept thinking I needed to develop the post more, but it turned out to be short. I really like your audio version.

  44. ddothard@yahoo.com

    September 2nd, 2014 at 3:25 am

    Laura, I enjoyed this immensely. I agree with you 100% on this. Lots of people are, I think, uncomfortable with defining ‘success’ in a way society often defines it– a quest for wealth, the accumulation of status symbols, a flashy career. Nevertheless, these same people often feel like a failure when they refuse to hop onto this hamster wheel.
    I commend you for saying that a person is NOT a failure when they choose not to define the world this way. And most importantly, you’re saying that life’s most noble purpose is finding something that YOU are passionate about.

    So there you have it. Well done.

  45. laura@yourcareerhomecoming.com

    September 6th, 2014 at 1:33 pm

    Thanks, Dave. I think you nailed the tension between not prioritizing traditional “success” and feeling guilty about that. Fun seeing you here 🙂

  46. saraberkes@gmail.com

    September 2nd, 2014 at 7:46 pm

    Love this! I just stumbled across your site and I have to say—I agree with this 100%. I often feel like I’m maybe not living up to my “dreaming potential” with my relatively small, simple dreams. I see a lot of people all about the hustle, to get the money and the fame and the huge clients, and I guess I’m just not really a hustle-y kind of woman? My dreams are having time everyday to pursue one of my many creative hobbies (I have a creative job, but things often feel less creative when you’re doing them for other people). I want to only work 4 days a week, and not a huge amount of hours on those days, just a regular 4 day work-week, so I have more time for the things I like doing outside of my job. I want to be able to cook delicious meals every evening, to go for walks, to read books, and to get together with friends for dinner in the middle of the week. To go on day trips on the weekend without worrying about being away from the computer for that long. Yes, big trips to Paris and millions of dollars and having people all over the world know my name would be cool… but there are sacrifices, and I’m not willing to sacrifice my life for my career.

  47. Rosannwynn1@sbcglobal.net

    September 5th, 2014 at 4:56 am

    Laura,
    How perfectly well-said. When my boy was little, I loved reading to him and cuddling him and rocking him. He’s now almost 25 and my best times are when we have a really good conversation. You are very wise to make these things a priority. Time goes quickly and they’re only little for a short time. Enjoy those ‘exquisite moments’ (love that term!). As for my dream, I guess it’s small, as well. It never involved making millions or fancy cars or homes. I’d like to know that the art I create brings a smile and even a little laugh to people, to know that I’ve done something that makes a small difference in the world. And if it could enable me to leave my full-time corporate job, all the better! Thank you again for reminding us that it’s not all about cash and flash.

  48. smithkaichjones@gmail.com

    September 6th, 2014 at 3:28 pm

    i, too, have almost written abut this, but not quite. i have a few lines scribbled somewhere, something like “i want to forget about pursuing my dreams, just let them go, see if they’ll return on their own. they will or they won’t. either way.” something like that. it wasn’t what i really meant. you’ve said perfectly what i really meant.
    my small dreams? to tell small stories. to play more. to listen more to those i love. to be in a better mood.

    thank you for this. you’ve helped my mood already. 🙂

  49. ashley@ashleygainer.com

    September 7th, 2014 at 1:40 am

    Right here with you. My audacious goal right now? Build something now that, in a year or 18 months or whenever the time comes, will help fund or otherwise make happen a 6-month maternity leave. I run in circles full of people who have their sights on a six-figure income, blah blah blah, and I just want to make it over the poverty line for 2014. It’s hard not to feel inadequate for not having a bigger goal, but I’m with you — I live this very humble life with modest aspirations so that I can focus on my true priority — my boy and our life together. I think my approach has been kind of the opposite of the passion/purpose approach — my passion is my son, and my work came out of the desire to be with him instead of at a desk. It’s only recently that I’ve been mulling ways to insert some passion into my work. This is great food for thought — thanks for sharing!!

  50. hello@leoniewise.com

    September 8th, 2014 at 1:43 am

    for years i carried around the belief that success was defined by bigger, flashier, more expensive things. i thought it meant taking more workshops, networking, making connections, earning more money, self-promotion.
    it took me a while to realise that amplifying my life these ways meant losing a really beautiful conversation with myself. it made my skin itch and what i really wanted (& needed) was to simplify, get quiet, show love in ways that don’t need to be announced to anyone. i want to live a truthful life, even if it’s not big, or loud, or flashy.

    i heard a quote a while ago (and I don’t remember who said it) that went something along the lines of … only the person who understands the true meaning of ‘enough’ will ever be rich. that really stuck with me – i like my simple, quiet life & i’m loving leaning towards ‘enough’.

  51. laura.j.babb@googlemail.com

    September 8th, 2014 at 5:38 pm

    I think dreaming of being present is the perfect dream. Dreaming of being content with what you have and not trying to acquire more. Dreaming of being happy. Good luck with your dreams.

  52. dancingmooney@outlook.com

    September 8th, 2014 at 6:18 pm

    Hi Laura!
    I’ve been following you for quite some time, but this is the first time I’ve posted. I love this message, and thank you so much for spreading it!! I have always known I wanted to live a simple life, and I’m simply trying to make my own way… My dreams have never been big (unless big means, buying a house with a bigger piece of property, someday!)… I never wanted to hire employees, or grow my business to a point that I couldn’t do my own work. I never wanted an enterprise, I never felt I needed to make a million.

    There are so many great reads on the internet these days about staying positive, moving forward, having patients and growth… and all of these things are relative, but there are so, so many of us out there, who simply just want to be ourselves. You couldn’t have said it better, and I’m excited to see where you go with this topic.

    Loved that you shared your real voice, unedited.

    Blessings to you and thank you for staying true.

    ♥ Janell

  53. hello@contemplativecreative.com

    September 11th, 2014 at 9:40 am

    Laura,thank you so much for sharing your Laura-sized dreams. I am sometimes afraid of chasing the wrong dreams. The ones that society has prepared for us. And then realizing that none of it (neither the journey, nor reaching the goal) made me happy.

    The other problem with dreaming big dreams is that they come with all those unconscious drawbacks: Not having time for the “small” things that really matter to us. A part of me shys away from dreaming big or achieving big, because of my fear that I wouldn’t be able to just unplug for a few days, or read a book without looking at my watch.
    It takes a lot of courage to stand up for your own dreams. Thanks for making a brave start 🙂

  54. christy-williams@live.com

    September 16th, 2014 at 2:51 am

    Thank you for this, Laura. I’ve been feeling overwhelmed with the bigness of everything I am facing in my life and had the same thought that you did. I don’t need to be up on a stage or bringing in millions. I am going to focus more on building my Christy-sized dreams and not let myself get so overwhelmed. <3

  55. Anon@mail.com

    September 24th, 2014 at 12:33 am

    Sitting in my own bed after months of travel, reflecting on old photos on the wall and realigning my purpose with my needs and wants… I really needed to hear this. Thank you!
    I realized there’s not much I want from the world either – those days of ambition and wanting to solve world hunger or cure AIDs have become a flicker on a candle rather than this big, burning desire to sacrifice all else for the good of humanity.

    I choose to coexist, contribute in my small way, and live a quiet, but comfortable life with what I’ve been granted. Life’s too short to be dreaming about Mars when the moon is in your backyard.

  56. hannahmaymarshall@hotmail.com

    October 18th, 2014 at 2:27 pm

    Beautiful post Laura. Sometimes when I answer those ” what do you want in life” questions I feel like I have to force myself to come up with big dream things, when really, so much of my current life is filled with the.simple, smallerr things that bring me joy; thanks for the reminder to be grateful for that.
    And never be afraid to put out your raw, unedited stuff, its refreshing and powerful.

  57. Anonymous

    October 24th, 2014 at 8:34 pm

    […] Giving up on dreaming big (and my previous take on that) […]

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